"I memorized all your names. Test me."

"Jack is the perfect college recommendation candidate."

"I decided not to be a lawyer. It's a lot of reading."

"If I went with Comp Sci, I could have worked for Microsoft and I would be very rich now."

"He stole my math video idea. And Bill Gates gave him money."

"I always wanted someone to say that I was doing it all wrong and run up here and teach the class."

Jamie: "We're baking him a cake."
Daniel: "What if he's diabetic!?"

"Did anyone watch the video series? No?"
Jamie: "I did."
"Did you get it?"
Jamie: "Not really."

"If I could, I would take out Descartes's Rule of Signs."

"There really isn't any use for Precalculus."

"When you think algebra, think beating up a kid."

"Sorry I'm late, important dean stuff."

"Sorry I'm late, super confidential stuff."

"I wore a tie and everything for no reason."

Brandon: "Can I use the bathroom?"
"Sure. Tell me if you smell something fishy in there."

"I should just send all of you out to investigate the bathrooms."

"I share this room, but what most people don't know is that I keep the keys to the closets of the rooms I taught in. I must have like 60 closets in this school."
Student: "What do you keep in there?"
"Math textbooks."

"Wow, Row 1! Wow!"

"I don't ask questions like this in period 3. When I ask a question in this class, all the thinking caps go on."

"This class does better than period 3."

"All we do in this class is make fun of period 3. But we do that in period 3 too right? Make fun of period 10?"
Eli (period 3): "Not really. You just say their wikis are better than ours."

-Karen's baby starts crying-
"Wait for it."
-baby continues crying-
"Wait for it."
-baby makes weird purring sound"

"This was not an easy test. The median grade was a 98."

"If you sign up for math research, you have a 100% chance of having me next term because I'm the only math research teacher."

"Teachers aren't allowed to accept gifts over $5. Maybe it's a trick."

"I only said that because I don't know how to do it either."

"All of Trig in five days. After the fifth day, you'll all just start clapping spontaneously."

"Look at this homework! Before this class, her homework didn't look like this!"

"Good news! I'm teaching two sections of Precalculus next term. You now have a 10% chance of having me."

"Just write about how much you like me."

"Sometimes teachers have to make hard tests. People were liking me too much."

"Does anyone want to read? Anyone? Anyone?"
"I feel like Kristina has a good reading voice. Kristina? Do you want to read?"

"Christine! I was about to call on you and you raised your hand!"

"I was one of the top cell phone confiscators in the school."

"That's why I went to Tufts and not Harvard or Yale."

"I can tell if something's funny. That's funny, that's kind of funny, that's not funny. So I was like a professional comics editor. Lucky Cow Comics. Look it up."

"I don't laugh anymore."

"Who here's in math team?"
"There's nothing wrong with math team. Math team is okay."

"I'm not going to be like the Simpsons guy who realizes he forgot to teach something on the last day."
Student: "Wait! Hold on guys; I didn't show you this proof!"

"This isn't an easy final. These are nasty, sneaky questions."

"The good thing about inductions is you can do them even if you have no idea what you're doing."

"No question is a stupid question. Even if it is, I wouldn't say it. I would just think it."

"I've never been on stuybash. Don't tell them about the 2 + 5 =/= 7 thing."

external image 45741-lucky_consider_scale_1_5_1_least_lucky_5_lucky.jpg<---(copy and pasted by David Wang)
^ In honor of the time when the axis Mr.Rubeinstein drew on the board perfectly matched the one from his graphing calculator projection. It happened in Pd10 for a reason.

external image images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSzbmXPic4PamMzOHc-lK4wLlWUIFLvYf69bWBlgaocPwplmNNcJA<--- If you're not sure whether this is funny, ask Mr.Rubeinstein, he knows.

external image images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSLyzCpCmy7U83wmrMCZB_YWaKNCmw2P3ezM3FkikNKD8W6P-amTg<--- Ignore the bottom, the top is kinda funny.